Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
