marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
