YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize