I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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