Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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