All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
honey bunches of taint.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
