Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
