I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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