just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
