last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
