Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
