Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
