How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize