Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's get the cat blown out
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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