she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
