i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ugly people sure do ruin things
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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