dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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