I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
