Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
