This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize