About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
