she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
