There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
