I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
