I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
