I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
