i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
