he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
