This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My cat gives me a boner
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
