You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
