You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
