The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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