I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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