so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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