You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
