im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
