What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
