she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
