Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
