Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize