I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
