My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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