Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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