I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
