I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
