Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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