Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
