It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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