and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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