Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize