I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
