Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
