if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
