So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
