that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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