I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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