Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
