whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
