i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
