Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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